Hadley: 6 months

Height/Weight

We have our doctors appointment Friday and I will update this post then. My guess today is around 20 pounds and maybe 28 or 29 inches? Eeeek! So big!

Diapers

Finishing up a few size 2 and moving on to size 3!

Clothes

You are still in 6 months for most outfits but I'm starting to add in some 9 months here and there. I've noticed that if there's a pair of pants that you've worn a lot (meaning we've washed them a lot) then they definitely are not long enough anymore. You have long legs, like your daddy! Tonight I put 9 month pjs on you (all of your 6 months were in the wash) and they were quite big! I was happy to see that you haven't quite made it that far. I love my little peanut!

Feeding

You continue to do very well in the food department. You are still taking a bottle (4-6 oz) three times a day and nursing in the morning (sometimes), evening, and right before bed. You get apples in the morning and either carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, or peas in the afternoon. We (mommy, daddy, or jenna) mix both with some cereal. You love apples and your favorite vegetable is carrots. We will slowly keep introducing you to new foods and then the sippy cup...eeek!

Sleep

After being in the hospital overnight, your sleep schedule was off for a little over a week. It was (and still is a little) rough. I'm still not caught up on sleep. But you are getting better. A few days after we got home, you were waking up five to six times a night. It was horrible. Now we are back to once. Last night you slept through the entire night--11 hours!! I might have gone in to see if you were breathing. It was amazing to sleep longer than a six hour time frame and I was so proud of you! I'm hoping it sticks! Such a great way to ring in your half birthday!

Other Events

You had your first hospital stay--super scary. So thankful it is over!

You are now sitting up on your own! We still watch you but you're doing very well.

You are still talking a lot and will look at us in the eyes when you do. It's so sweet!

You love Sesame Street. You still enjoy listening to That's Cooperation, Elmo the Musical (President), and Sesame Street Alphabet. One day you were really upset so I was getting ready to turn on That's Cooperation. When I turned the tv on, Sponge Bob was showing on Nickelodeon. You were amazed. I hate to say that you love Sponge Bob, but you really do. You will laugh and make happy screams. I think it's all of the colors and movement that get your attention. However, when you start to understand what is going on, you will no longer be allowed to watch it--sorry! 

You sat in the cart for the first time two weeks ago at Target. You love it and were (happy) screaming through the aisles!

You still love to bounce in the bouncy seat.

Your favorite toys are the green ball, Sophie, and Violet (the talking dog).

You love Wembley and Oliver...especially Wembley. We're making sure to use the word "nice" as much as we can so you can start understanding it.

You're starting to put your hands out and reaching for us to hold you. It's adorable!

You haven't been sucking your thumb anymore and over the past week haven't really wanted your binkie. But before that you wanted your bink all the time. Not sure what is going on with this phase...

Your feet are still one of your favorite toys (as you can see in one of your pictures above) and you are holding on to them almost every time you are laying on the ground.

Tummy time is still not your friend and you're still not rolling over. It will come.

Your personality is so funny! You get embarrassed easily and put your head on my shoulder when you feel shy.

You're super happy in the mornings and when you're not happy we know you didn't get enough sleep.

Mommy and daddy have been very busy with work lately but you've done so well for us at home and have been adjusting to our busy schedule. I try to leave work very shortly after the bell rings so I can spend as much time as possible with you.

We cannot wait until the weather warms up so we can start taking walks outside!

I can't believe you're six months old already. While the time feels as though it flew by, it also feels like you have been a part of our family forever. Sometimes I think about life before you and sometimes your daddy and I will talk about it. We're amazed at how busy we thought we were and how we thought our lives were so fulfilling. But since you have been in our life, we feel our hearts are completely full. You are such a joy! I am sad to put you to bed every night and so excited to wake you up!

We love you more than we can put into words!

Happy half birthday my Haddie girl!

Guilt

The five letter word that has haunted me so much lately.

Mom guilt. 

Wife guilt. 

Teacher guilt. 

I've basically had some sort of form of guilt from the moment we came home with Hadley. I couldn't carry her, barely take care of her or myself for a few weeks from complications I had after her delivery. Thank goodness for my husband! Then I went back to work and the guilt hit me even harder. I feel terrible that I don't get to spend my days with my beautiful daughter (but I'm very thankful she's in wonderful care). I feel sad knowing I spend the day with other children and I can't my own. I feel frustrated because I know I'm not give my 100% at work or at home. 

My family has always been my top priority but work came shortly behind. Before having children, J and I had each other, grad school (for a few years), and work to attend to on a daily basis. I would stay at school until 5:00 or later each evening and go in every Sunday. I could plan ahead and have exciting lessons. I knew what I wanted to do and would be able to act quickly on my feet if I needed to change something. Now I leave work at 3:45 (the latest). I'm always behind. I bring things home but sometimes it doesn't get touched for a week. I try to go in on the weekends but it is so much harder. I'm lucky to know what I'm doing for the day, let alone the entire week. I'm not the teacher I used to be and that is okay. But it still leaves me feeling guilty.

It's also hard for me not having those extra evening times with Josh. Lately it's been more difficult because he's finishing his thesis. And the time we do have together, we'd rather spend it as a family. But we also know how important it is to have couple time. But when?

There's just not enough time. 

I can't be 100% mom + 100% teacher + 100% wife. It doesn't equal out.

It’s okay to feel the guilt, as long as you aren’t living the guilt. Guilt isn’t there for you to dwell on, it isn’t there to dictate your life. -Jennifer Green @ Life in the Green House

A few weeks ago, Jennifer had a post all about the guilt of a working mom. I had actually be talking about my guilt with Josh weeks before her post. It was something that was constantly nagging at me in the back of my mind. Then she shared this great post with us and I felt a little better. We all go through guilt in some shape or form. Mom guilt is a big thing that got to me when I went back to work in January because that's when it really set in and hit me. Now I've transistioned to teacher guilt. I've become so overwhelmed with what I need to do becuase I missed the first half of the year. But, like Jennifer said, there's no need to dwell on the guilt. 

If I'm doing what's best for me and my family then everything else will fall in to place.

I'm the kind of girl who...

Joining with Holly today for this great yearly linkup!

I'm the kind of girl who...

loves sleeping to the sound of a rain shower

loves looking at the ocean but hates the sand

is always up for a good cup of {decaf} coffee

wants to be really good at one thing but just seems okay at a few things

hates how her legs look but thankful to have legs

needs to sleep in once in a while

loves late night cuddles with her baby girl

gets excited about planning their future Disney trip with her husband (even though it's not for another 3 or 4 years)

wants to be remembered for doing something great

is always planning

loves a surprise {but can't know anything about it}

cries easily

thanks God for her family every day

Hadley's first trip to the ER

This weekend was quite the unexpected adventure.

Saturday night Hadley and I went to stay with my parents since Josh was working late. I was wanting to stay home but he kept telling me I needed to get out of the house and have a little break. So we packed up our things and headed that way.

Hadley had been to the pediatrician a few weeks ago for a cough. She has a little bit of bronchitis but nothing serious. She finally was getting rid of the cough this past week and was doing better than ever.

My dad had been craving the salad bar at their local restaurant, so we went their for dinner. Hadley did such a great job while we ate and was in good spirits. When we got back to their house, I fed her and put her down around 7:30. She went to bed fairly well. Around 10:30 pm, just as I was going to be, she woke up. I normally give her a minute to see if she's half asleep or really waking up. However this time when she woke up, she didn't sound normal.

I went in to the back room where she was sleeping and noticed her breathing sounded different. Then she started to cough. I called my mom in, who is a nurse, to listen to her. She sounded as though she had a barking cough. My mom said she had the croup. I was very surprised. She was totally fine the entire day. Later, I found out that croup usually comes at night out of the clear blue. That's still totally crazy to me!

We turned the steam shower on, sat in the bathroom for a few short minutes, then took her outside in the cold. It wasn't helping her breathing. It was actually getting worse. My mom suggested we take her to the Children's Hospital, which is about 40 minutes from where they lived. As I was changing, very very quickly, back into my clothes, my mom told me she didn't think we had time to drive to Children's and that we needed to go to a closer hospital about 15 minutes away. So we threw all of our things in the car and carefully sped to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and waited about 10 (long) minutes before we went back. We thought we would go in, get her a breathing treatment, then be on our way back. I was hoping to get to bed before 2am! But I was so wrong.

When they were examining H, they found that her heart rate was very high. The lowest it got was in the 190s but staying in the mid 200s. While this wasn't crazy high at the time for a baby, the hospital we were at doesn't specialize in kids and it really scared them. So they sent Hadley and I by ambulance  to Childrens. I wasn't really scared all that much until they said they wanted to transfer us. I also didn't know what a baby heart rate should be until we were being transferred as well. 

Yes, she's on a stretcher. And yes I took a picture.

We made it to Childrens safely..and long story short...we were there a long time!

They gave H a steroid shot to help with the croup and so far it's helped a lot! However, her heart rate continued to be all over the place. At one point in was about 310. At that point, they decided to keep her over night to observe her. She did well over night with her HR only going in the 190s at the highest.

We got about three hours of sleep Saturday night at the hospital and even though we went to bed around 8pm Sunday, I was up with Hadley every 2 hours. The steroid made it difficult for her to sleep and she was much hungrier than normal.

The doctors still are not sure what was causing the elevated heart rate. It could have been from the croup. It could be a health condition that rarely effects her. We will know more this week when we visit the cardiologist on Thursday. He met with us Sunday morning and explained what he saw and told us since she didn't have the EKG on while she had her big episode (but there was a doctor in the room and three nurses ran in), it was hard for them to pinpoint it right then.

Overall, it was a stressful evening but we tried to stay as calm as possible. We didn't want to make a huge ordeal out of it and really tried to handle it in the best way we could. Josh and I have really tried to find ourselves as parents lately. It's hard. I'm so thankful my mom was there since she is a nurse and that she and my dad were able to drive us. But when we got to the hospital (that she works at), she stepped back. She stayed out of the room so we could handle it in our own way. It was hard because I wanted her opinion. But she said she was the Glammy and we needed to learn on our own (she would never let anything happen to Hadley). 

The hardest part about the whole experience was watching Hadley. She was so scared at times but so brave. We were in tears when they gave her the IV in her hand. It was heartbreaking to watch her cry. I asked for emla cream (a topical numbing cream) but they said there wasn't enough time. She was so good and when they were done she stopped cry completely and started her happy screams. I prayed over her all night and I hope she forgot all of the difficult parts she went through. For feeling so poorly she was very happy and all of the nurses and doctors were very impressed by her. 

We are so thankful our sweet girl is okay. Thank you for all the prayers!!

Our chunky monkey :)

Note to all parents: if you child has to go to the hospital tell them you want emla cream right away if there has to be an IV. It takes about an hour to set in but totally worth it!!

Well, Hello There...

Welcome February!

This month has definitely come in like a lion! I can only hope it goes out like a lamb, but it's not looking that way! I have a lot of post thoughts and ideas I want to share but finding the time is another story. One day here soon, I will put down the stuff on my "to-do" list and take a breather and type. I need to. For my memories. For my mind. For my heart.

For now, I'll leave you with a sneak pic of little girls Valentines/6 month pics!

Happy Monday!